SEARCHING FOR SOLACE

SEARCHING FOR SPIRITUAL SOLACE
“God will give you another counselor, and Advocate to be with you forever. This is the Spirit of Truth...who abides with you and will be in you. I will not leave you desolate.” (John chapter 14)
The Revised Standard Version of the bible used the word desolate in John 14:18 to define the Greek word “orphanos” meaning bereft, fatherless, without a guardian, guide or a teacher, comfortless….alone. (sola is Latin for “alone or only”) Jesus’ promise to his friends in the gospel of John was that he would not leave them, so –desolate— without a comforter— alone. In the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible the updaters decided to use the word “orphaned” in place of the word desolate perhaps to stay truer to the original Greek. It doesn’t have quite the same impact as the earlier term “desolate” which carries with it the definitions such as: deserted, isolated, forlorn, wretched, hopelessly alone. De-solate meaning without solace. We define solace as that which brings comfort, consolation, support, relief at a time of sadness or grief, or disappointment. We humans can be found searching for solace, offering solace and finding solace in a variety of things or experiences.
There is a kind of identity that washes over those who have come to live in this country absorbing its culture and mores and that is one of “I can do it myself independence.” At the same time we are private about our inward pain and are loathe to have anyone feeling sorry for us. We see people all around us in need of comfort searching for solace. I venture to say that there are days when we feel so down in the dumps that we wonder if we shall be granted even a quantum (the smallest measure) of solace in this life. We wonder if we are destined to endlessly plod through the sludge and muck and mire of it all? I confess to you that there were times in my life when I resigned myself to believing that the key to survival was just to be tough as nails, donning a suit of impenetrable emotional armor, asserting my independence and refusing to reveal even a modicum of vulnerability to the world around me. Like Gary Cooper in “High Noon” I set my jaw, guns ready to stand strong and alone against whatever evil threatened to topple my tower of strength. Whether we admit it or not all of us need solace— comfort for our ragged, jagged, souls. If we are depressed or feeling sad or disappointed or “distressed” we just want the feelings fixed….gone is preferable and we are often compelled to reach for the closest thing that offers to soothe that distress.
On Memorial Day Monday I happened to be listening to a lecture (for my nursing school class) given by Dr. James Prochaska who is known for his work on human behavior and “stages of change.” He enumerates six stages of change: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance and termination. In his lecture he talked about how it is possible to help large groups of people change their unhealthy behaviors exchanging them for healthy behaviors. One of the statements he made hit me right between the eyes and was suddenly relevant to this article of how we search for and find solace/comfort. Prochaska said that we (Americans—all flavors) tend to search for comfort in oral consumptive behaviors. Consider our fondness for creature comforts and comfort foods like, candy, chocolate and ice cream— all high in sugar, which we consume to feel better, to make our distress go away. These do not offer solace for the spirit. There are folks who search for solace in the dis-inhibiting effects of alcohol. It can ease the feelings of distress and is used by many to medicate symptoms of very real depression. But there is no spiritual solace to be found in that bottle. Others may search for solace in the euphoria induced by pharmaceuticals. Smokers, who everyone says are orally fixated people, smoke to soothe (calm) their nerves. In truth smokers smoke to ease the symptoms of withdrawal from nicotine. There is no spiritual solace there. Some folks search for spiritual solace in relationships trying new ones on like shoes over and over again hoping this one will be the right fit. The goal is still comfort. Some folks search for solace in the beauty of nature, going fishing in a mountain stream, hiking in the fresh air. Some folks exercise to ease their distress. These are good habits, but do they offer solace or distraction? Like all that glitters is not gold, all that comforts is not spiritual solace.
Dr. Prochaska said one thing that knocked my socks off when he talked about how we can find alternate oral behaviors to ease our distress. He asked the audience if they could guess which oral consumptive behavior would be healthier than eating, drinking or smoking? He finally had to tell them that the healthy alternative was TALKING! I have to tell you I just loved hearing that. When Jesus’ promised that his friends would not be alone, his hope was that they would remain together to uphold and comfort one another.
John Wesley fully comprehended the human need for spiritual comfort and solace, perhaps because he tended toward depression himself. He brought people together in societies, classes and bands to talk about their daily lives, their triumphs and their disappointments, their joys and sadness, their relief and their distress. Each group had a leader and the Holy Spirit was always in their midst. The solace offered by the Spirit of God is HUGE. It is not a distraction or a drug, it does not produce euphoria or dis-inhibition. The promise and presence of The Holy Spirit was not a quick fix for Jesus’ disciples, a temporary relief of their sadness and disappointment, rather The Holy Spirit was their assurance that they should never feel abandoned, left, or bereft, comfortless, isolated, or alone to figure things out for themselves. This same Spirit is our assurance of the presence of God with us, in us, around us and through us at every moment —not as an imaginary friend, but as our constant companion and comforter our ever present source of solace.
I believe that the church exists to help all people get in touch and stay connected with a Holy and Healthy Source of Solace. Through the church we are empowered to embrace our worth and value. Our grandest solace may well be found in offering ourselves, our hearts, our minds and our arms to each other. When we gather in fellowship, when we spend time talking, encouraging lifting one another up, that is the occasion when the Spirit soars and dances within. There are so many people searching for solace, longing for comfort and validation of purpose and worth let us lead them to the place where it can be found here with us in Christ’s church. LET’S TALK!

Blessings,

Rev. Amanda