Dear Everyone,
A wise young woman explained, "don't ask, don't tell," in a most profound way yesterday. She said, in essence, that "don't ask, don't tell," wasn't created to protect those who were stigmatized, marginalized and told it was safest not to reveal who they really are; rather, it was created so that those who do the stigmatizing, can continue to hang on tight to their fears and prejudices and avoid confronting them. "Now that makes sense," I said.
In the first century those who made a decision to be Jesus' followers were stigmatized by all sorts of people. They were scorned by the ruling class of Gentiles and ostracized by the religious leadership in the synagogues many had called home all of their lives. These early Christians were confronted with that, don't ask, don't tell decision, as well. When they decided to follow Jesus, they, too, had to decide whether they would share their good news or keep it a secret. Keeping their membership in the Jesus cult a secret would keep them alive; revealing it could result in everything, from losing their family, to losing their life.
Luke's Jesus wrapped the great commandment up in the parable of the Good Samaritan, knowing that the people who were listening to the story were afraid of and prejudiced against the Samaritans. The Judeans and the Samaritans worshiped the same God, but they couldn't settle their dispute over the correct and proper place to worship their God. They accused each other of all sorts of bad behavior and were, for hundreds of years, accustomed to living next door to each other, with their prejudices, until Jesus lifted up the Samaritan as the paragon of mercy, the one who demonstrates truest meaning of the commandment to love one another.
During World War II, in Nazi occupied Europe, anyone who was Jewish was marked with a yellow star (homosexuals were marked with a pink triangle among other things)* to identify them as they were carted off to concentration camps and systematically tortured or exterminated. The, don't ask, don't tell, rule, in that setting, worked for very few.
In the 1960's here in the United States, pastors who supported the Civil Rights Movement, and preached their conscience, or marched their conscience, were fired from pulpits all over the country, including Southern California. They were confronted with a decision to speak or to remain silent. If they spoke out in favor of Civil Rights for ALL, they would be forcing those desperate to hang on to their fear and color prejudice, to confront those feelings or leave their church. Pastors, who spoke up, often jeopardized themselves, their careers and their families.
When I first came to Palm Springs I was invited to attend the Light Parade and loved it so much I hoped we might participate in it the following year as a way of making ourselves visible to our community. A few people got excited about the idea, but momentum waned and no flat-bed truck magically appeared for us to create our float. It costs money, time and effort to make a float and be in a parade. Being in the Light Parade would have been an opportunity for us to do exactly what we did last Sunday -- invite people to "Come and Experience God's "Yes!"' in a place that boasts Open Hearts, Open Minds and Open Doors. It's been 5 years, with no parades.
When the Administrative Council supported the proposal for the church to participate in the Pride Parade, they offered no funding support, just their vote of "Yes." The flat-bed truck we were promised, never materialized, but those church members who were determined to reach out, in love, to the people of Palm Springs, did not give up, nor did they flag in their zeal or efforts. We would simply decorate and enter the church van as our float walking alongside it and in front of it with a banner. When the parade rules said: "no crepe paper flowers on the vehicle, because they are a fire hazard," the decision was made to try cellophane flowers in all different colors. For two Saturdays people gathered to create the flowers and on the third Saturday, the 5th of November, in the late afternoon, church members gathered to attach those 800 plus cellophane flowers to netting stretched over and around the van. When folks realized the windows of the church van were not going to open so the riders inside could wave to the crowd along the parade route, the riders decided to come along anyway. We were cheered all along the parade route with people saying things like: "I have to take a picture of this; my mother will never believe it."
Pastors all over the world are well aware that church members who are unhappy, or who choose not to confront fears and prejudices harbored since childhood, will often speak with their feet; this is to say they will find a reason to leave the place that is making them feel uncomfortable, or slighted, or unappreciated. If they cannot ignore the challenge to let go of their prejudice, to open their minds, first, and then, their hearts, they will leave. If we attend church because we have always attended church, or because it is the right and proper thing to do, we are missing the point of church membership and participation. Church is where we go to figure out how to love our neighbor as ourselves, because it is difficult and we need all the help and encouragement we can get to do it. Perhaps your feet have given a great deal of thought to the direction they are taking or have already taken, but our feet aren't the part of our body that ought to do the thinking. You may not be aware of it, but your feet are saying much more than "I am no longer comfortable, or happy here." Aren't your feet also saying: "I am not willing to listen to you, because nothing you say will ever make me change my mind." Aren't your feet also saying: "Because she welcomes and embraces people I don't think ought to be embraced, she can no longer be a pastor to me." Aren't those pesky feet also saying: "Because my fellow church members -- who felt like family to me, once -- welcome and reach out to people who make me uncomfortable, I can no longer worship God in their company." Aren't they also saying: "Because I think members of my church made a spectacle of themselves in the pride parade, I can no longer be associated with them."
Don't let your feet do the talking for you; you're better than that. Don't ask, don't tell, is no more. That means we can be about asking and telling. The US military has made a statement to the world that they are willing to confront their fears and prejudices, to learn what they must, in order to create harmony in the ranks and be strong. I hate to say it, but the church might just learn something from the military. Food for thought.
Blessings,
Rev. Amanda
*"All prisoners of the camps wore marks of various colors and shapes, which allowed guards and camp functionaries to identify them by category. The uniforms of those sentenced as homosexuals bore, various identifying marks, including a large black dot and a large "175" drawn on the back of the jacket. Later a pink triangular patch (rosa Winkel) appeared."
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